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Welcome to the Upper Galleries! I've reserved the slightly
less upsetting shorts for the first of the Galleries - although I'm well
aware that when confronted with side-vents, people are known to back away
with handbags over their faces. |
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But I so miss the days when they were ubiquitous. The old
Sprinter shorts and their various non-Adidas cousins - well, they're so
hard to get these days. Especially in London. |
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Before we go on, a small reminder. Museums are as much
devoted to conservation as to display - and this is a warning to those of you who don't
take proper care of your shorts. |
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NEVER boil-wash your white Adidas shorts with navy stripes.
They turn out like these. By the way, forgot to mention: click on the
thumbnail and watch my crotch enlarge. |
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Now, I spend a week each September in North Wales, working
as a dogsbody for a music festival there. The nearest town is Rhyl, where
I love to go to see the unreconstructed Gogs! There had used to be a
fabulous little sports shop there as well. |
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But last year (2000) I went there to find it was in the last
week before closing down. I bought nearly the entire stock - including
these pairs of Adidas shorts in silver/white and red/white. They're far
too small, but hey, they were 50p brand new. Obscene, aren't they? |
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I have a special soft spot for red shorts, and I think the
only way I'm ever going to lose weight properly is to will myself to fit
these redduns. The grey ones are 30"; the red are 28" (and my
belly bears no relation to these dimensions). They feel so suggestive to
wear. Better give up those pizzas! |
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These are the first pair I bought with my own money, when I
had my first job before going to Sixth Form. I think they came from Fosters in
Weston-super-Mare. |
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The lining's gone, the material's bobbling and the label's
fallen out, but I've had a fair bit of wear out of these. Quite something! |
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And talking of old, these must be about the same vintage.
They're actually Rodeo shorts, so I guess they're from C&A (remember
them?), and despite being really skanky shorts, they retain a soft spot in
my affections. |
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Do you know the joke about the Welshman who buys a pair of
wellington boots? If you don't, e-mail
me, and I'll try and remember the punchline. |
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These ones are seriously old - my mother bought them from my
aunt's market stall, so my brother and I had something to wear in the
summer in about 1986. I kept it to myself that I already had enough pairs of shorts to
wear a different one each day of the holiday! |
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Anyway, I got these two pairs, in sky blue/navy and navy/sky
blue; my brother got pairs in yellow/black and red/white, and I was sooo
covetous! The sky blue pair are a bit damaged from being dried over a
heater once and burning a small hole in the back. But they still offer
ample cover! |
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I wore these in 1987 on school exchange to Hannover,
Germany. There're photos - oh god, I've just realised! - if I can dig them
out, I'll try to get them scanned and stuck on here somewhere! Of course,
I was much thinner then. |
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These (I think you can just make out) are Impex shorts -
again, very old, the lining's disintegrated and the sheen's gone. But I
love the way they're square around the leg. |
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I must've spent most of my teenage years beating off
watching all the ladz out playing in the road wearing shorts like this.
James Bridgman used to wear shorts like this riding his BMX outside my
parents' front window. Ah, memories ... |
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View From running shorts. Very sheer. Very tight, in fuct.
And a bit too flesh-revealing to wear outside! |
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And talking of which ... these also came from the shop in Rhyl.
I have a pair in red/white too. They're sooo high-cut. The only word is
... obscene! |
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For those to whom it matters, they're 26" waist,
2.75" inseam, 4.5" deep at the sides. Glorious! Obscene. |
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Swimmies from John Lewis, back in my student days. Again,
lovely and square around the leg. They used to be more green, but I swam in
them (once) and they bleached. I've not swum since. |
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Do saunter to the second gallery to see a few from my
collection of... Shiny Shorts. |
